Hi Gus! I was immediately intrigued by your story after reading that your retelling Rama and Sita’s story as a romantic comedy! For your webpage, I think the title of your first story is really funny and I enjoyed the number of pictures you incorporated into your story. I would love to hear more about how Sita felt when she first saw Rama and Lakshmana since she noticed both of them. She doesn’t clarify which one is the most noble, so I’m curious what makes her chose Rama instead of Lakshmana. I also liked that mentioned that Sita is the avatar of the goddess Lakshmi, since this is really mentioned a lot throughout the stories. I think giving Rama and Sita an age would help make the story more realistic. Also, as the story continues it can helpful for the reader create a time frame as Rama and Sita continue their adventures. Overall, great story and I can’t wait to read other stories!
Hello Gus, Your web page was very easy to navigate and the way it was set up was visually appealing. I like how each of the pictures that you incorporated gave a clear visual on what was happening within the story. For example, whenever Rama snapped the bow in half, there was a picture of Rama holding the broken bow. After reading your retelling of how both Rama and Sita came to met, I could not help but laugh. I thought the way you retold the story was very interesting, and it left me wanting to hear more. There were certain details that I would have liked to read about in the story. Things like a timeline from when Rama and Sita first met to whenever Rama broke the arrow or whether or not Sita was initially interested in Rama or Rama's brother, Lakshmana. Small details like that would have added more excitement to the already interesting story. Otherwise, great work!
Hi Gus! I really liked the first story on your portfolio! All of your side comments were really funny. They added extra personality and fun to your stories. You mentioned that you didn't really watch RomComs, but I couldn't tell from your writing, you pulled it off wonderfully! I also liked that you put your author's note at the start of the story instead of the end. I know that it's a small detail, but it was nice to get "you" before reading! First thing that I wanted to point out was your comment wall link, I could not find it lol. It would make it easier to comment on your stories if it was linked to the title page or the story page. Other than that, maybe you could add more detail to the story? Some of it moved kinda fast, like it was a summary of the story instead of the story itself. Maybe if you added some dialogue or character emotions, it would feel more story-like. Good luck on the project!
Hi Gus! I love your page and all the pictures! A suggestion I had just at first look would be to maybe come up with titles for your stories, so that would make readers feel more interested. It doesn't have to even be titles; anything that would help readers know what the story is about would work! I see you have the boy god avatar meets girl god avatar, maybe playing around this for a short title for your story instead of story 1! Also, i think it would be better if you spaced out your first paragraph from the author's note because it looked like it was part of it! I really liked your own comments on the story because it makes it really feel like a rom com! The idea of each story being a small part of a larger story is genius! I was on edge to read more!
You should definitely tell more about this story! Good luck on the rest! :)
Hey Gus, I just got done reading through your project for the first time, and you did a good job. I liked all the pictures in your story. A lot of the stories I have ready only contained one picture and that is fine a lot of times, but it shows the extra effort you put in to add more. Your author's notes set the story up well and the stories were fun, playful, and tied in well together. I do think title's at the navigation bar might look better than story 1, story 2, etc. If you wanted them to be numbered still for chronological navigation I understand, but it could be like Episode 1: Title kind of thing. Hope you had a great semester, and thanks for sharing your work!
Hi Gus!
ReplyDeleteI was immediately intrigued by your story after reading that your retelling Rama and Sita’s story as a romantic comedy! For your webpage, I think the title of your first story is really funny and I enjoyed the number of pictures you incorporated into your story. I would love to hear more about how Sita felt when she first saw Rama and Lakshmana since she noticed both of them. She doesn’t clarify which one is the most noble, so I’m curious what makes her chose Rama instead of Lakshmana. I also liked that mentioned that Sita is the avatar of the goddess Lakshmi, since this is really mentioned a lot throughout the stories. I think giving Rama and Sita an age would help make the story more realistic. Also, as the story continues it can helpful for the reader create a time frame as Rama and Sita continue their adventures. Overall, great story and I can’t wait to read other stories!
Hello Gus,
ReplyDeleteYour web page was very easy to navigate and the way it was set up was visually appealing. I like how each of the pictures that you incorporated gave a clear visual on what was happening within the story. For example, whenever Rama snapped the bow in half, there was a picture of Rama holding the broken bow. After reading your retelling of how both Rama and Sita came to met, I could not help but laugh. I thought the way you retold the story was very interesting, and it left me wanting to hear more. There were certain details that I would have liked to read about in the story. Things like a timeline from when Rama and Sita first met to whenever Rama broke the arrow or whether or not Sita was initially interested in Rama or Rama's brother, Lakshmana. Small details like that would have added more excitement to the already interesting story. Otherwise, great work!
Hi Gus!
ReplyDeleteI really liked the first story on your portfolio! All of your side comments were really funny. They added extra personality and fun to your stories. You mentioned that you didn't really watch RomComs, but I couldn't tell from your writing, you pulled it off wonderfully! I also liked that you put your author's note at the start of the story instead of the end. I know that it's a small detail, but it was nice to get "you" before reading!
First thing that I wanted to point out was your comment wall link, I could not find it lol. It would make it easier to comment on your stories if it was linked to the title page or the story page. Other than that, maybe you could add more detail to the story? Some of it moved kinda fast, like it was a summary of the story instead of the story itself. Maybe if you added some dialogue or character emotions, it would feel more story-like. Good luck on the project!
Hi Gus!
ReplyDeleteI love your page and all the pictures! A suggestion I had just at first look would be to maybe come up with titles for your stories, so that would make readers feel more interested. It doesn't have to even be titles; anything that would help readers know what the story is about would work! I see you have the boy god avatar meets girl god avatar, maybe playing around this for a short title for your story instead of story 1! Also, i think it would be better if you spaced out your first paragraph from the author's note because it looked like it was part of it! I really liked your own comments on the story because it makes it really feel like a rom com! The idea of each story being a small part of a larger story is genius! I was on edge to read more!
You should definitely tell more about this story! Good luck on the rest! :)
Hey Gus,
ReplyDeleteI just got done reading through your project for the first time, and you did a good job. I liked all the pictures in your story. A lot of the stories I have ready only contained one picture and that is fine a lot of times, but it shows the extra effort you put in to add more. Your author's notes set the story up well and the stories were fun, playful, and tied in well together. I do think title's at the navigation bar might look better than story 1, story 2, etc. If you wanted them to be numbered still for chronological navigation I understand, but it could be like Episode 1: Title kind of thing. Hope you had a great semester, and thanks for sharing your work!