Comment Wall- Story 1



Comments

  1. Hi Gus!
    I was immediately intrigued by your story after reading that your retelling Rama and Sita’s story as a romantic comedy! For your webpage, I think the title of your first story is really funny and I enjoyed the number of pictures you incorporated into your story. I would love to hear more about how Sita felt when she first saw Rama and Lakshmana since she noticed both of them. She doesn’t clarify which one is the most noble, so I’m curious what makes her chose Rama instead of Lakshmana. I also liked that mentioned that Sita is the avatar of the goddess Lakshmi, since this is really mentioned a lot throughout the stories. I think giving Rama and Sita an age would help make the story more realistic. Also, as the story continues it can helpful for the reader create a time frame as Rama and Sita continue their adventures. Overall, great story and I can’t wait to read other stories!

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  2. Hello Gus,
    Your web page was very easy to navigate and the way it was set up was visually appealing. I like how each of the pictures that you incorporated gave a clear visual on what was happening within the story. For example, whenever Rama snapped the bow in half, there was a picture of Rama holding the broken bow. After reading your retelling of how both Rama and Sita came to met, I could not help but laugh. I thought the way you retold the story was very interesting, and it left me wanting to hear more. There were certain details that I would have liked to read about in the story. Things like a timeline from when Rama and Sita first met to whenever Rama broke the arrow or whether or not Sita was initially interested in Rama or Rama's brother, Lakshmana. Small details like that would have added more excitement to the already interesting story. Otherwise, great work!

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  3. Hi Gus!
    I really liked the first story on your portfolio! All of your side comments were really funny. They added extra personality and fun to your stories. You mentioned that you didn't really watch RomComs, but I couldn't tell from your writing, you pulled it off wonderfully! I also liked that you put your author's note at the start of the story instead of the end. I know that it's a small detail, but it was nice to get "you" before reading!
    First thing that I wanted to point out was your comment wall link, I could not find it lol. It would make it easier to comment on your stories if it was linked to the title page or the story page. Other than that, maybe you could add more detail to the story? Some of it moved kinda fast, like it was a summary of the story instead of the story itself. Maybe if you added some dialogue or character emotions, it would feel more story-like. Good luck on the project!

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